Från I'm somewhere else:

Then it's like something I don't even know how to say. I'm scared. I'm so scared of looking a certain way, because some of the people who can't turn it off get hurt for looking like this. Looking like this, not acting like this--being like this, not looking like this, I mean. I like calling myself a stimming person because it's not an action, it's a kind of person. It's a kind of person I still am, the deepest thing.

click the text to see where it's from. it does make a lot of sense, because I feel like that to must of the time.
I don't want to show or I don't want let people know I think different, or that I feel different from them. I don't want them to realize I am different, I even try to hide it from myself, persuade myself that it is only in my head, that I am really normal. Since everyone else keeps telling me I don't have problems and think I am normal, I really must be normal? But then I realize that the more I try to talk myself into being "normal" the more I realize how many problems I have with regular things.

By the way I am not complaining, I ususally never says anything about how I feel, maybe I should.
I really like life, I like not being "normal" I don't want to be like everyone else, but I would like a little more understanding, and I would like "normal" boring people to have a little more sympathy and be more accommodating towards people that are not as them.

Kom ihåg mig?

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