impulsiveness

I always mean what I say, but sometimes maybe I should not say what I say, even though I mean it Maybe I should keep it in my head, that's what I mean by that. But if i keep it in my head it loops and loops until I say it, so I have to say it sooner or later, often it is better to say it sooner, because otherwise the word or sentence makes me unfocused, because it is dancing around in my head, wanting to get out.

One of those loops occurred yesterday while cleaning my room, I thought about how much easier it is to clean your room when you're expecting someone over, specially someone who hasn't seen how messy your room can be and the only person I could think about was Sam, so I was thinking about sending him a text saying that he need to come over so that I have an excuse to clean my room. I didn't send it at the time, but at around 2pm in the night while I was kind of finishing up the cleaning part, that sentences had been going around in my head for some time, I think the though of me wanting to hang out with him mattered too. So I sent him the text. He didn't really questioned it much, just asked me if it was for him, or if I had sent it to the wrong person.
That's what I like about him, he doesn't asks a series of stupid questions that so many other people does after my impulsive texts or my impulsive acts. As I mentioned above, I mean everything I say, but sometimes I should better keep things to myself.


Anyhow
I feel so much better when I let out my impulsive sides and don't care about what other people think about it.
It is hard to always be that way, because people judge all the time. It's like the weekends are the only time I can really be myself. Because I am alone most of the time and when I am alone I am really hyper I dance, sing out loud, climb on things, and so on.

Mitt huvud är en torktumlare.

Jag kollar på film (alldeles för sent på natten)
Resten av delarna finns på Youtube.

Lördag

Nu sitter jag i skolan, har precis gjort klart foto 1 läxan. Det var svårt att hitta någon som kunde vara modell till min siluett bild. Så är det när man inte har nära kompisar i närheten. Vet inte om jag blev så nöjd med det, ville egentligen inte lämna in det jag har, men jag har verkligen inte tid med att göra om det. Filurade lite på att jag skulle göra det idag, men det var som sagt det med att hitta en person till siluett bilden, ringde runt till några personer ingen var tillgänglig. Så det får bli att lämna in vad jag har.
Nu är jag trött på att vara ute bland folk, orkar inte koncentrerar mig mer så jag ska hem och städa, så snabbt som möjligt. Eller kanske ta en kaffe först (utan Caffein).

Crush

Skrev om mitt liv i Dallas. Skriver nu mest om NPF-diagnoser och livet med en eller två sådana.

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